The best way to keep any secret is by not knowing it

Women and secrets do not gel well, for long time. That's said and seen many times. Being a woman, I agree to it too. There is a typical tendency, in women especially, to share secrets with someone. If the secret is about self, it is shared with chosen people. And if the secret is about someone else, that as well is shared with chosen people, but this time round the number of choices is more than that of the first case. This cannot be generalized though. There are women who are best in keeping secrets. I consider myself as one of such women, to the best of my knowledge of the secret-keeping behavior that I know of myself.

What makes someone best in keeping secrets?

The answer is simple to say yet hard to follow. Its the commitment. The commitment one have towards either the person of whom the secret is, or of the situation the secret of oneself belongs to. When someone confides in, there is a high probability that he or she believes in the person confided into. A belief that the 'secret' won't be revealed to a third person. Keeping secrets is the matter of respecting that very belief. Its a game in which one must choose to stick to the matters and keep the secret to self, at least as long as its not publicly known. People with high commitment towards the person confided in are most likely the best secret-keepers. They stand by the belief with which they have been told what's told. 

How one can be such committed?

Its not difficult. At the same time, its not easy either. It takes a lot of integration at personal level to keep secrets. What's told to us is told with a certain understanding and we must simply keep ourselves up all the times to maintain the same. Moreover, its none of our business to keep talking about someone else's secrets, especially when we know that the other person would like to keep it to less audience. Also, I feel its matter of time and holding up for a little while. There are weak moments when we tend to share secrets with others, generally people who are close to us, and might not be close to the ones to whom the secret belongs to. If we can hold up for a little while during that moment and talk of some other topic, its easily forgotten and the tendency to share is gone for sometime. Instead of that, if we hang on to the temptation and continue the talk, in no time we end up speaking out about the secret that we know of others. 

At times I feel, the best way to keep any secret is by not knowing it. While this is not possible in case of the secrets related to ourselves, at least this holds true when we apply this to the secrets related to others. I agree that we cannot always avoid knowing secrets. Our personal integrity must pitch in at many moments to maintain the secrecy. However, the secrets that we often 'pull' from others can be stopped at least and we can stay away from them being known to us.  This holds true more for women and less for men, arguably because women tend to know about others more as they are generally willing to maintain relationships, and men tend not to know much about others as for them, maintaining relationships on emotional terms, not in professional terms, is of less interest.

Its always better to keep the secrets when we know them and its further good not to know them, if we feel that we are not the best secret keepers.