Birthday 2019 as a mom!

Many birthdays passed and it never occurred to me! Today as I have become a mother, I feel like saying this.

My mother was a teenager when I was born. She used to top her class and she had to miss her final exams since I arrived before the expected date of delivery. That was just the beginning of the streak of compromises and sacrifices. And I'm very happy that my mother continued her studies for another four years and became a teacher. She could do that because my grand mother, Vijayalakshmi, took care of me and my mom. My grandma did a lot for us, which I can't explain in few words. On October 10th, 2002, suddenly we had to face her day of death! I have deeply missed her ever since. Mothers do a lot for their kids. My mother and grand mother have done a lot for me. Saying thanks is never enough. I must and will do whatever I can for them.

I'm reserving about my father for now! One day I shall express about him, who's the most influential person in my life.

Sharing responsibility - ParenthoodDiaries #13

Husband and wife share the responsibility of be it home-making or child-rearing.

Ladies, next time when you are asked if your husband helps you at home, say this - we share the responsibility.

Helping and sharing responsibility are different not just by their literal sense but also by the way they are executed. Help is the assistance we get when we are solely responsible for a given task. Sharing responsibility is sharing of ownership; the act of being equally responsible.

Home-making and child-rearing are real fun when they are executed together by the couple. Also, they happen smoothly and sensibly when done together. Children are known for imitating and majorly learning from what they observe at home. They learn to be equally responsible as they grow and become a parent; after all, child-rearing is also about making the parents of next generation!

Mothers and their stories - ParenthoodDiaries #12

This post is not about kids but about parents, mothers to be specific.

I have been interacting with quite a few 'mothers' recently. The maid at my home, the cleaning staff in our housing society, women colleagues whom I meet at the company creche and few of my good friends etc are some of the mothers who have shared interesting insights about motherhood, majorly based on their personal experiences.

All I can say is, every mother has a story. Each one has her unique share of ups, downs, difficult decisions, streak of compromises and of course invaluable memories for lifetime. Life becomes unexplainably adventurous at times and mothers have to handle it no matter what. And they do, with love and passion.

These days there are some helpful aids available for mothers, like diapers, formula milk powders, creches, maids at pay etc. I wonder how mothers back in 20th century and before maintained their kids, and a number of them not one or two! I think mothers find the ways out to nurture their kids, sometimes with the help of family members and at times all alone as well!

ME time and its impact - ParenthoodDiaries #11

Not compromising on 'ME' time makes the time we spend with kids more joyful for ourselves as well as for kids.

Time waits for none. It keeps ticking. Kids wait for none. They keep growing. The time we spend with kids at every stage of their and our lives is going to be in all our memories for life. While we try to spend time with kids, we often compromise on the 'ME' time. It's extremely important to notice and prevent this from happening.

Each one of us have certain things to do for ourselves; by doing which we feel relaxed and rejuvenated. We must recognize those few things and make time to execute them, no matter how the rest of the time is going, so that we become joyful. Being joyful from within is one of the prime ways to make our kids joyful when we are with them.

Crying is the weapon - ParenthoodDiaries #10

'Crying' is the weapon children own by birth and eventually learn to use. Its good to let them learn that with crying, they may get what they need and may not get what they want.

People say that crying doesn't suit a man. Not really though. And for women, based on the situation, crying is perceived  to be  either  a weak-link or a strong weapon! Glad that none of this gender based generalization is applied to children yet.

They cry for many things like when they are hungry, sleepy, cranky etc. Whatever is the reason, they seek attention to their need or wish.

While we have to fulfill their needs, we may choose to delay or decline fulfilling some of their wishes. They may cry as we do so but eventually learn that they get what they need, and not always what they want. It's important for every child as well as parents to understand and differentiate needs and wishes.

Mother being a nurse - ParenthoodDiaries #9

If a doctor needs to be a doctor, and not a mother, while operating her children, a mother needs to be a nurse while nursing the babies.

Mother would want to feed the babies more; nurse would feed just enough. Mother would want to bath the babies for longer time; nurse do it in the required time. Mother wants her babies to sleep longer and longer; nurse would let them sleep for a sufficient time. Mother do not want her babies to fall sick; nurse handles the sickness with a smile. Mother would not want her babies to get dirty with dust and sand, nurse would let them have their share of happy play-time.

Mother tends to do more. Nurse does enough.

Mother tends to protect. Nurse treats. 

Mother tends to do the desired. Nurse does the required.

And while nursing the babies, mother better be a loving nurse.