Infancy and expectations - ParenthoodDiaries #4

Infancy is probably the only time when children expect nothing but love from parents. As they grow the expectations grow, like parents like children.

Parents expect quite a lot of things from children from day one. About their appetite, about their smiles, about their sleep, about their various milestones like turning, crawling, walking and then the peak of expectations begin on the day the child starts schooling.

Like parents, like children. They learn to expect from us, parents. We cannot stop expecting and they never stop learning. And this cycle would continue for generations.

There is no specific solution to this by all practical terms. No one can stay without expecting anything. However, we can control what we expect; and that can happen when we know our children well enough. We can also control how we express our expectations to children; and that can happen when we know ourselves well enough.

Infants know and do things better than us - ParenthoodDiaries #3

Infants know and do quite a lot of things better than us.

They know when to drink milk and they know when to stop drinking milk. Unlike us, they don't drink for joy rather they drink just enough to live life. They know when to start playing and to stop playing as well. They enjoy their play, probably better than the bestest of the professional players. Their sleeping pattern, it's extremely better than that of ours; there is lot of peace in it and joy too. Their communication is exemplary; there is a deep intent to make us happy or smile and they never intend to hurt anyone.

That's a lot of stuff to learn from them, not just to live our lives happily but also to give wonderful memories to the people around.

Female foeticide: Kill the reasons why people do not want a girl child

Food, knowledge, health - Considering the "basic requirements" for the survival of any human being, there is no reason for #FemaleFoeticide to happen.

The other "imposed requirements" such as - girl's parents to give dowry, women to leave her parents after marriage and stay at in-laws' place, women cannot lit the pyre, girls to be given lots of gold at the time of marriage etc make some of the parents kill the female fetuses.

And some of the "assumed thoughts" such as - girl cannot be an asset to the family and is a liability, girls cannot earn high, girls must not study well because it will be difficult to find a groom, girls need to be safe-guarded more etc make some of the parents take the extreme step, before even the baby girl is fully developed in her mother's womb.

Restricting the gender-tests is is not the solution for this problem and that has been proven in time and again. Its rather wise to kill the reasons why people do not want a girl child.

The basic requirements need to be prioritized irrespective of the gender. The imposed requirements need to be eliminated. And the assumed thoughts need to be corrected, so that #FemaleFoeticide can be prevented.

It takes one generation to welcome the change. One generation of parents, when they become in-laws, can change the "imposed requirements" for their daughter-in-laws. One generation of parents,  can change the "assumed thoughts" about a girl child.

Hope there will be a day when 'India' will not be automatically mentioned, when searched for Female foeticide in Google.

Being in present - ParenthoodDiaries #2

There are days with highs and lows. With infants, it's nothing different either. They smile, cry, shout, play and all at once at times.

They smile at us and don't think why we smiled back or we didn't. They cry, we ease them and they get back to play without thinking about what made them cry. They wake up crying from sleep due to colic pain, we burp them, they burp and get back to sleep without thinking about what just happened.

They be in their present without thinking about past or future and that helps them become efficient learners. Imagine we learn doing this and practice in reality; how blissful life feels and how productive we all become!

Two things to learn as parents - ParenthoodDiaries #1

As parents we must learn two things.

First one is not to get either super excited or too worried about what others have to say about our kids. Every kid is special in his or her own way. We must observe and know our kids well enough so that no one else's judgement can be more correct than that of ours. Comparison often makes its way through other's words. We must never let the comparison reach our kids, through us especially.

Secondly, our neighbors or friends or relatives may go by the gender of ours kids. But as parents, we must not get biased by their gender. Unless for the obvious things, we shouldn't be letting the gender-thing prevail in upbringing. Equal opportunity is still a long way to go in the contemporary time. It might be achieved when our kids learn from us how not to go by the gender.