The first question - ParenthoodDiaries #103

First question on my mind when I was 7.5 years old - "When are the holidays starting?"

First question on my mind now when my kids are 7.5 years old - "When is the school restarting?"

Same life but different responsibilities, different circumstances, different perspectives.

Well, I'm looking forward to again making holidays memorable for our boys. My creative brain needs to work in full throttle to keep them away from screens as much as possible. As they grow, it's getting utterly difficult to keep them away from screens.

These days they ask me - "You want us to not look at mobile, why do you keep looking at it...?

So these days I've come into an agreement that i won't look at mobile as well (in front of then though). So, i'm innovating ways to use mobile without kids noticing me doing so, since a lot of work happens on smart phones these days!!!

School Alumni Meet - The pretty gift I won

I won the below pretty box as a shared first prize along with my best friend Arifa, in our 10th class, in an elocution competition on the AIDS day. I still preserve this treasure, safe guarded it from the breaking skills of my children.

Our teachers used to conduct a lot of elocution competitions and used to support us with the preparation, to participate in other schools as well. Those were the days without smart phones, google usage or e-books. We and teachers used to refer books to prepare our content.

I'd say that those competitive moments and opportunities contributed towards the development of my communication skills and speech skills. I'll always be grateful to our school management and staff for such wonderful coaching.

When Genes kick-in - ParenthoodDiaries #102

When Genes kick in, we take it with smiles. And finally, there was something that we had to choose definitely different for both of them - The Spectacles (since the power is different).

It was after my fifth standard that I was taken to eye hospital and by then, the number of my short sight grew to (-3). I used to struggle to read what was written on the board and I used to think that's how everyone else would see .

My boys now were vocal enough to say they couldn't read from a distance. And they said it early, before the number would grow.

Now they look as studious as me, that's how I smile about it and move on.

Our first air travel - ParenthoodDiaries #101

We recently took Bharat & Bhuvan on an air travel for the very first time and here are some of the questions they asked. They asked every question at least thrice..

1. How the checked-in baggage will come? Is it coming behind us on a separate luggage-aircraft?

2. They saw the wing through the rear windows, and asked why "that part" was travelling along with us?

3. Are we above the clouds and hence are we in space?

4. The staircase through which we got into the aircraft, is is coming along too behind us, so that we get down again when we land?

Their inquisitiveness kept me busy and helped me in not feeling the turbulence, which otherwise would have occupied my mind throughout the travel time.

By the way, it was not just Bharat and Bhuvan's first air travel. It was also Ravi and my air travel TOGETHER for the first time ever in all the last 20 years. I too realize this, as I write this. On the day of travel, it was all about giving the first experience to kids. We didn't realize it was our first air travel together too.

Seasons change and so do we!

 

School Alumni Meet - Essay writing competition

It was the '1997-98 academic year' and I was studying 8th standard. Six topics were announced by the Government of Andhra Pradesh, to prepare for the essay writing competition at district level, on the occasion of 50th Independence Day of India.

During the summer holidays, I read through a lot of books myself and prepared essays for five of the six topics. My mom helped me with a few pointers for the essays and a short poem to end a few of those five topics.

My dad took me and a few of my school seniors to the competition in Ongole. The topic would be announced in the writing hall, after distributing a few blank papers. I was prepared for five of six!! But they announced the "sixth topic" as the one for the essay writing competition that day. The typical experience some of us may have about getting questions from those left-out topics in exams!!!

I comprehended all the books which I studied during the holidays and crafted an essay out of that experience & knowledge. I was completely on my own in that one hour and that probably brought the best out of me if I think about it now, my natural instincts in writing were not perceived by me then, but I was fond of writing.

I somehow wrote the essay in a way that I could end it with the same lines my mom had written for me earlier.

After the competition, we didn't wait to see the results, since the topic was very hard and we never prepared for. Also, there were a lot of senior students from 9th and 10th classes participated.

The next day when I went to school and while I was parking my bicycle, one of the school seniors who had come with me for the competition wished me saying that I had won first prize in the seniors category at district level.

I was spellbound. For a moment, I didn't believe it. She then showed me the newspaper article in which the winners names were mentioned. In those days, we didn't have phones, otherwise I would have clicked that article and kept it as a memory.

Later, on the day of the prize distribution my mamayya, Jagan, took me to Ongole. The then district collector Dasari Sreenivasulu garu presented me with the GOLD medal and a certificate.

This whole experience was one of the first encouraging moments for the writer in me.

I still remember the lines I ended the essay with, which my mom had written.

రావాలి రావాలి సమసమాజం.

తేవాలి తేవాలి సమాజం లో నిండు వెన్నెల.

కురవాలి కురవాలి ఆనంద జల్లు.

Running race and the timer - ParenthoodDiaries #100

 

Technology usage by kids - ParenthoodDiaries #99

"I will be shifting to my friend's home. His parents allow him to watch mobile phone and TV"...

Is it sounding familiar to few parents at least?.

Keeping Bharat & Bhuvan away from screen has been a major task for Ravi and myself. As we do it, we get to enjoy a lot of drama & dialogues, one sample is mentioned above.

They have now started saying to us - "You both keep looking at your laptops (while working from home). You Tube works in your laptops and the same comes in TV and mobile as well, how's TV or mobile different from your laptops?".

When I say that I work in my laptop, they say that watching TV is their work.

Games in mobile is another bond-breaker stuff. How much ever we try to not expose them to digital games, they hear everything during their play time with other children.

At the same time, they make wonderful drawings, learn complicated vocals and learn multiple languages by watching you tube videos.

Technology is about how we use it and it comes with its pros and cons, like anything else.

Varanasi - Title Glimpse

Again and again and again if a team is being positively impactful, it's the indication that they are meticulously executing what they are absolutely passionate about. Kudos once again to S.S. Rajamouli and team. Take a bow, Shruti Haasan.

Victory leads to transformation!

When Shreya Ghoshal sang India's National Anthem in the opening ceremony of the ICC women's world cup 2025 to a few vacant stands, who thought that Sunidhi Chauhan would be singing the Anthem to a fully packed stadium on the finale day!

That's what inspiring performances do. Hard-fought victories do. They transform the way things are perceived. Of all, the most important is that they transform the thought process.

Hope the world cup victory by the Indian women's cricket team helps in transforming the perception about women choosing sports as their career in India.

Hearty congratulations to the team and fellow admirers of sports in India.

School Alumni Meet - Aided schools and the emotions!

Aided school is more than a school. Having closely seen the one I studied in, which is an aided girls high school, I can proudly say that it's FAMILY.

Aided schools are management-run schools, with salaries funded by the government. Unless the government fills the positions, the retired teacher posts are filled by the management-funded amount. The rest of the infrastructure is largely either through management's cost or donations. The school itself was founded by donors and not government.

Teachers have no transfers, so they grow together. Any old student visiting the school can meet their teachers every time until they retire. All the retired staff are invited to any main event.

I'm a regular visitor to school, more so because my mom works there. The love and affection I feel every time, is unexplainable. Teachers are like forever family friends. And students are their only legacy. Management is the backbone.

Our school especially has a special reputation in our area with a phenomenal staff and their ever encouraging commitment, so much that despite dealing with low staff post retirements and aging main teaching staff, they have recently started to teach in english medium to comepte with the growing demand.

Hence, the upcoming Alumni Meet is nothing less than a highly-celebrated family event for the teachers, students and myself especially

School Alumni Meet - Childhood memories

Childhood memories are extremely special. Some prizes we win remain in our hearts forever.

Below plates were the prizes I received after winning few competitions, during the annual day event in our school.

Now, I serve food to my kids, sometimes, in these plates and it feels just awesome. Glad that I won two plates back then...

School Alumni Meet - A sweet memory from 1999!!

We won in the district level quiz competition conducted by our school. However, we were denied the rolling trophy, since there had been a vow taken by our school management to not accept the trophy if our school itself won it.

There was a rule that the rolling trophy would permanently go to the school that would win three consecutive years. The school team that was runners up this time, had won two consecutive years earlier and we were quite happy that the trophy would remain in our school, since we won. But the fact that the trophy wouldn't be given to us hit me hard, though I had been made aware about the management's vow before the competition itself.

The noble reason behind that vow was not understandable at that tender age and I started crying. My team mates followed. It all felt quite disappointing.

The teacher who came along with the school team that was runners up, who would eventually take away the trophy permanently, came forward with a great gesture towards us. He presented us some amount as a gift. It felt like a consolation that day, but as I think about it now, it's a great memory and a beautiful gesture by that teacher.

It was one of the first lessons for me to stick to the vows, no matter what the consequences would be. These little pieces of wisdom are something that school life teaches us, teachers teach us. We owe a lot to them.

The real treasure that parents can give - ParenthoodDiaries #98

The real treasure parents can give to their children are HABITS.

Making my children habitual of doing things is the most challenging part of my parenthood journey so far.

I realise that making kids habitual needed me to have been habitual of doing things in the first place. This manifests in the way I could make them habitual in doing things that I'm habitual at. The places where i'm not habitual, I struggle to make kids habitual of those. Fortunately, my husband is habitual at few complimenting things, hence we are able to cope up..

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Wife and husband coming from different families and upbringings help, provided they understand the importance of giving diverse experiences and exposure to children. And then, give freedom to children to decide what they want to pursue.

Life is all about making choices. The ability to decide is the greatest strength we can give to our children. We may like to be the most influential voices in their lives, but not to forget that we are only enabling their journey and we don't own their journey. They own their lives. They own their journey.

School Alumni Meet - Gone are good and gone!

 Back in 1995 when I was in 6th standard, I remember crying my heart out, just because I was allocated to a different section than the one my close friend got allocated to. Almost 25 years later, I heard about her tragic passing away. Memories of our good old times ran across my mind. Realization about the reality of life overtook my tears.

Back in 1997 when I was in 7th standard, I and another friend of mine went to watch a movie along with my grandfather. A few months later, I walked into our classroom and was told the news of her untimely passing away in our school ground that morning.

We meet in classrooms.

Get closer with the murmur.

Spend beautiful time together.

Bid farewell holding each other's hands.

The hands that might never meet again.

This is friendship. This is a typical journey of classmates. Through our alumni meet, we are trying to hold as many hands as possible again, relive some precious moments in the same classrooms.

Gone are good and gone. We live on their behalf too.

Car's parts from the little eyes - ParenthoodDiaries #97

 Car's parts as perceived by my little boys from the backseat!!!

Happy birthday Bharat & Bhuvan!

 A lot of happy things have happened in the last 7 years which enable me to rejoice and celebrate this moment, this day which is Bharat and Bhuvan's 7th birthday.

I'm extremely thankful and grateful to everyone who has been supporting and encouraging us in this journey in many different ways. May your support and love continue to keep us going!!!

Happy Birthday mom!

Back in 2002, my mom waited for my exams to get completed to undergo a surgery, just so that I wouldn't get distracted. She bore the pain for months until I got free.

Recently, she waited for me to open our new gas stove, despite the trouble she had been facing with our older stove.

There is no comparison between these two incidents in terms of the intensity of trouble she had to face. But the abundant love that created these precious little moments for me is irreplaceable.

As she celebrates her birthday today, I wish her many more years of healthy life. May we share many more moments of happiness in the time to come.

Turbulence & kids - ParenthoodDiaries #96

Last week, while I was traveling by flight, there were few moments of semi-severe turbulence mid-air. Naturally I got terrified and could find equally or more frightened faces in the seats next to me.

In those moments, the faces of my kids ran across my mind and then suddenly I made a failed attempt to control my laughter.

I imagined what my kiddos would do if they were around, in such moments. I was sure that once the plane started jerking, they would start laughing loudly while looking at each other. They would enjoy the bumpy ride in their perceived huge toy plane, unaware of the consequences. It would have been almost impossible to stop them from being out of context.

Imagining all this had lightened my mood amidst the turbulent ride through the skies.

Well, ignorance is a bliss and life keeps giving us the respective anecdotes every now and then!

The information bomb is real - ParenthoodDiaries #95

The "Information bomb" is real!!

Despite being automotive professionals, neither Ravi nor I ever spoke to Bharat & Bhuvan about car manufacturers or cars in general.

Recently, while we were travelling, we showed them different logos of vehicles on the road and that they were either from Tata Motors, Maruti Suzuki, Mahindra & Mahindra, Hyundai, Toyota, Honda, Skoda etc.

As they showed interest, I extended the conversation and said - "Maruti is from India and Suzuki is from Japan". One of them immediately asked - "Amma, Tata is from India, then where is Motors from?"!!!

Well, after listening to us talking about different car brands said above, one of them asked us to the deepest of our surprise...

"Why don't we have either Lamborghini or Buggati with us? They are high speed cars".

"Information bomb" is real and it's going to have it's blast in the years to come. All that we can do is to teach children how to deal with information that they keep hearing or reading from you know where.

Kids live in the moment - ParenthoodDiaries #94

It's true that kids live in the moment. Here is my funny experience with it.

At times kids call me when I'm in the office, from their dad's or care giver's phone.

They ask - "what are you doing?"

I say - "I'm working"

Then I ask back - "what are you doing?"

They say - "we are talking to you".

These answers have been consistent for many times now!!

Our brain is sharpened too - ParenthoodDiaries #93

Talking to kids sharpens our brain from time to time! I realized it again after this morning's chat with my boys.

They wanted to go for swimming, but it was raining. They knew that I wouldn't agree.

One of them said - "Amma, I saw a dream last night that we both were swimming in the pool while it was raining".

Immediately I said - "I saw a dream too that you both swam in rain and then caught cold and cough".

Discussion was over

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Our dear friend, Orkut!

I opened www.orkut.com to see what happens next. To my surprise, the below appeared.

This was the place where we connected with our friends in 2005-2008 timeframe. Those were the times of my final year un engineering and a couple years in masters. 

We used to write testimonials as well. I regret that I do not have a copy of the testimonials some of my dear friends wrote in those days. It would have been nice to have them. We never realize how soon technology can change, social connect platforms can change. Best is to be prepared to lose the information on the social media platform and save as much as we can so that the memories can be cherished. 

Difficult paths - Take Home #686

I wonder sometimes, if the difficult paths are the right paths or is it that the difficult paths turn out to be the right paths due to the realizations that occur to people on the way! In any which case, difficult paths are often the right paths. 

We happen to be what we are - Take Home #685

We happen to be what we are a lot of times. Critical aspects of life are not in our control. No one succeeds alone or no one fails alone. We must do things together by appreciating the people walk into our lives, although that may not be is a perfect companion all the time. We happen to be what we are and so is that they happen to be what they are. Respect and move on! 

Reimagining - Take Home #684

Reimagining ourselves need guts to face the facts about ourselves, our weaknesses. Building a legacy needs us to reimagine ourselves time to time.

Celebrity worship must end.

A question was asked after Australia winning the cricket World Cup 2023 - Why was no one there to welcome the winning team as they returned home, along with that famous photo of Pat Cummins going almost unnoticed?

A question is being asked now, after the stampede in Bengaluru, outside the Chinnaswamy stadium - why so much craze for a club cricket team?

We must ask ourselves more questions...

Why so much craze for cricket, isn't it just another sport? 

Why so much craze for cricketers, aren't they similar to any other athlete who sweat it out?

Is an Olympic medal not worth celebrating as a cricket world cup trophy?

What's so much about celebrities, aren't they similar to us who battle everyday out?

Why do we invest ourselves in taking sides of our favorite celebrities, waste of a lot of time and we gain nothing positive out of it personally?

Why do we worship the players or actors or any other celebrities? How do they matter in our lives - we have a family to feed and we have our individual selves who need to be explored fully. 

I think it all starts with that basic human trait - Being curious about others while forgetting the essence of our individual selves.

Why do we exist? 

To worship somebody unknown or to know our individual selves in totality and live life to the fullest?

No doubt that we must get inspired from certain people, who display extraordinary qualities like tenacity, grit, consistency, discipline, being grounded, resilience, resolute etc. But we must keep it up to getting inspired, not worshipping anyone so much that we forget ourselves and our people.

Coming to the recent mishap for a while, what's more alarming than the stampede itself are a few facts...

The fact that the celebration inside the stadium continued despite the deaths occurred outside. 

The fact that the majority of the victims were under 20 years and they had not informed their parents before visiting the stadium.

The fact that there was no anticipation of the possibility of a huge crowd turning in for the celebration, despite the unending fireworks went around the city the night before!

The fact that the celebrities are back to normalcy, headed to their homes inside and outside India, and some people who worshiped those celebrities will never return home, leaving their parents in the deepest sorrow of their lives. 

The recent stampede is only a manifestation of why celebrity worship is ugly. It's not the time to divert ourselves by throwing it on the government or system or RCB management or players or bureaucrats or politicians. 

It's the time to ask ourselves the right questions, and sort out the priorities of our lives with utmost responsibility. 

So, can we totally change how things are? Can we change the craze for celebrity worship? 

Yes, we can start changing it by only starting to change our individual selves. 

The world appears to us not how it is, but how we perceive it is. Say no to celebrity worship; once we internalize this, the world starts showing us our responsibilities and the essence of our lives. Then it's up to us how we take things ahead and make our lives meaningful. 

Cricket is indeed an emotion, in India!

Cricket is indeed an emotion in India; a dear emotion that we embrace lovingly with a billion hearts.

Congratulations RCB for the fantastic win @TATA IPL2025 and PBKS for a tremendous display!

Few words, for few people...

Always standing behind the PBKS team in every thick and thin, encouraging them with a pure smile - Preeti Zinta, just take a bow lady!

Everything seemed over. The opponents started celebrating, crying. Team mates had no motivation to encourage. But one player stood alone, hit the boundary after the boundary, made 22 runs against the 29 needed in the last over. What a grit, what a player - Shashank Singh walked away in tears after the match, but did everything right to feel proud of himself.

Last season's winning captain was surprisingly let go by his franchise, and in the immediate next season, he led his new team to finals from a different franchise that bestowed confidence in him, he stood tall in major wins of the season for his team - Shreyas Iyer, something is very special about this player, the name to watch out more for. Kudos captain!

One of the best players the sport has produced, emotional and brilliant personality who needs no introduction, winning the 1st IPL title in the 18th attempt - Virat Kohli, the player who has been scripting history. Hearty congratulations champion!

Cricket is indeed an emotion in India; a dear emotion that we embrace lovingly with a billion hearts.

Famous people - ParenthoodDiaries #92

One day Bharat and Bhuvan came to me, after learning the meaning of the word 'famous'.

"Amma, we want to see who are famous people, show them on your phone"

I said - "Ok, i will show, but tell me what Amma is famous for.."

One of them said, "Umm...Amma is famous for cooking, playing with us and going to the office".

I then opened google and kids said over voice "famous musicians"... We started seeing the photos of famous people.

Then ..

"famous dancers"...

"famous doctors "...

"famous basketball players"...

"famous tennis players"...

"famous football players"...

Then came the turn of cricket. What kids said surprised me to the core!

They said... "Famous Virat Kohli"...

How deeply some players leave their mark on the sport they play! Amazing and inspiring.

I always tell kids that the sport is bigger than any player, I mean I tell them in a simple language that 7 year olds can understand. But they hear a lot from their friends in school and housing society that it's difficult to keep them away from idolizing any person. I will continue to try though.

June 1st - The global day of parents

During the COVID-19 lockdown, I read a real-life story about a single-mother of eight children, cooking stones in an utensil to make her hungry children believe that the food would be served soon. She thought that the children would eventually sleep while waiting for the food.

It's so heart wrenching even now, when I think about it after many years, that how helpless the mother would have felt when she couldn't feed her children. And the extent that she went to manage her hungry children. This is her story.

Likewise, every parent has a story, which is unique and should never be compared with any other's.

I wonder and admire all that the parents go through while raising the children, or should I say, what not that they go through!

Sometimes children realize what parents do for them, many times they would never know! All that children can do is, to give back. Love. Warmth. Time. Friendship. Care. Whatever and whichever that can be given back!

Some of us are parents but everyone of us is a child, who owes a lot to our parents. Towards our parents, we are responsible more than what we think we are; for them, we are bound to do more than what we do.

Work is at its place; it needs to be at its place. We must keep giving our parents the beautiful moments, that they deserve and we owe.